Hourglass

     I came so close to death that it took quite some time for me to finally shake the eerie feeling of her cold bony grip tightly wrapped around my neck. As you know by now, I have been through pain, torture, and sheer misery on the deepest of physical and emotional levels. Nearly crippled by my anxiety, there were countless times I didn't know how I would survive. Yet here I stand! The obstacles I faced relentlessly put me through the ringer. However, I was simultaneously forced to re-evaluate the meaning of my life and everything in it. From it all, I managed to take away two very valuable and important lessons: Perspective & Appreciation! 

     You see, life has this subtle way of setting us on autopilot. Most of us aren't even aware of when it happens, until it's too late. We get caught up in our routine. We go through our daily motions taking so many people and things for granted. We get complacent and comfortable. The majority of our time, is spent worrying and our focus is on all the wrong things. We cancel plans without hesitation because decidedly, "there's always a next time." Then, in an instant, everything gets turned upside down. The world as we know it has drastically changed without warning and we weren't prepared. Suddenly the time comes when you would do anything for that "annoying" phone call from mom reminding you to do things you've already done. Time is fleeting...the sand in our hourglass perceptionally deceptive, falling much faster than it appears. Those moments we put off are gone forever, never to return...

     Sadly enough it's the terminally ill cancer patient who is quicker to cross items off his/her bucket list as opposed to the seemingly healthy person who could very well drop dead from a heart attack or get hit by a car at any given moment. Instead of fulfilling their dreams they live in state of constant monotony. I'm not trying to be morbid, that's not the point. On the contrary, I'm simply trying to reinforce the idea that time is guaranteed to NO ONE. We should ALL be taking full advantage. And yet so many of us wake up failing to seize and make the most of every day, or every breath for that matter. I am no exception. I'll never forget the first morning I woke up after my tracheotomy. It was a huge reality check for me that even in what appears to be the most dreadful of circumstances, it can always be worse! In a matter of hours, I had gone from wishing to breath the fresh outdoor air to yearning for any air that wasn't being artificially produced by a machine through a tube in my throat. The grass is always greener, until you realize it was just nice to have a yard to begin with. Thankfully, I now embrace the fact that out of my limitations was born the desire to take hold of my life and turn it into a legacy that I can be proud of. The acknowledgment of my blessings allows me to live my life to the fullest, and to LIVE FOR MYSELF! The more self aware I become, the less and less I feel tangled up in the imposed social constraints of society. At the end of the day my opinion of myself is what TRULY matters. I am happy with who I am. I view being different as being memorable. I appreciate that my story is so unique in nature! 

Live your life, before your last grain of sand falls!

     Travel! See the world. Don't hold grudges. Holding hate in your heart is so unhealthy. The worst thing you can do is go to bed mad. Listen! You can learn a lot. You never know when someone has something deep they want to share. Don't be stubborn, you're not always going to be right. If you feel like saying, "I love you" SAY IT! Be spontaneous, spoil your loved ones for no reason. If you see something they'd like, why wait months for a birthday or holiday to let them know they are special?! Spoil yourself too. No one should be rich in the cemetery. Unfortunately, none of that money can go with you! Build on genuine relationships, and don't be afraid to let go of the ones dragging you down. Some friendships are seasonal. Your most important relationship should be the one with yourself. It's ok to be selfish from time to time. You should be the most important person to you! If you are not ok, you will hardly be in a position to help anyone else you care about. 

     Don't live in fear! Try new things, even if you hate it afterwards. At least then you'll know for sure. The phrase "what if" shouldn't exist in your vocabulary. If it's something positive, make it happen. If it's something negative, then it's not even worth putting that energy into the universe. Project positive thoughts and affirmations. Having a rough start to your day? The worst thing you can do is decide that's how the rest of the day will play out. We manifest our own reality. Reach out to your relatives, and not just the older ones. The tendency is to put more energy into the people in life that "appear" to have expiration date when the truth is we ALL do. So embrace the existence of anyone who is meaningful to you. Nurture ALL your close relationships.

"Grow from the things you go through"

     Don't live in your past but rather learn from it. Set goals for yourself. Take steps towards fulfilling those goals. Take extra long showers. Don't be afraid to cry in movies (it means you have empathy). Watch the sunset! Walk in the rain! LISTEN TO MUSIC! TAKE PICTURES! SMILE! PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE (me)! 

Don't find yourself on autopilot for too long because the years will pass you by quicker than you realize. It takes work, it takes encouragement. We are all forever works in progress. You won't achieve perfection, but at the very least, YOU should be the one finding reasons to laugh everyday...not the devil! 

1 Man, 3 Hearts, and STILL ALIVE!