Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Knocked Down

     It wasn't until pulling into my driveway on that sunny Thursday morning in July, that it really hit me that I was going to be home alone for the entire weekend. We had just celebrated my baby sister's beautiful engagement party, and now she was heading to Miami with some girlfriends. I had just dropped her around the corner at a friend's house, where her and her friends would wait for their ride to the airport. Her fiancé lives with us, but he was already down in New Orleans with his boys for a close friend's bachelor party. My mom was at work but would be spending the rest of the weekend with her boyfriend. How embarrassing, that as a 32 year old man, I am now forced to live in fear when being left all alone. In theory, I was actually excited to have the freedom of being on my own for a few days. I enjoy time to myself, and I can appreciate the peace and quiet. However, being that my physical health is currently compromised, the chances of something going wrong are significantly greater for me as opposed to someone else my age, and that is scary.
     I usually don't like to entertain such negative thoughts as I do believe in the law of attraction. If I think I'm going to fall, chances are, I'm going to fall. But I let out a sigh of relief after making it down my basement stairs and into my apartment door safely. It was still early, and I had been up most of the night wrapping up some editing for my upcoming book, 1 Man, 3 Hearts, 9 Lives, so I decided to head back to bed for a couple hours. I went to the bathroom first, then grabbed some water, and carelessly made my way down the hall to my bedroom. I threw the bottles of water on my bed, tossed my keys on my dresser and was about to lay down when my right foot clipped the the carpet at the foot of my bed. Its true when they say falling happens in slow motion. I distinctly remember realizing that I was barely missing my mattress and headed straight for the floor. The left side of my body hit the mattress first before I rolled off, slammed my head on the metal bed frame, and knocked out for a few seconds. 
     When I finally came to, panic set in. I felt my heart rate spike instantly, and my fingers began to tingle. No longer strong enough to get up from the floor on my own, I wasn't quite sure what to do. My ears were ringing, I was dizzy, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. My fear became so intense I almost pissed myself! Suddenly I shoved my hand into the right pocket of my sweatpants remembering I still had my phone. I had to slow down my breathing if I was going to be able to communicate anything I thought to myself as I dialed frantically. My sister was not scheduled to head out for another 15 minutes, and so my first thought was to call her as she most likely had not left yet. 

"Hello?" she responded anxiously.

"Isa, I fell and I can't get up," I managed to say while remembering a TV commercial I used to mock growing up. The irony.

"Ok, Chris I'll be right there ok?! Just stay calm. CHRISTOPHE FELL..." I could hear her shout out before hanging up the phone.

     My eyes scanned the room for ways to pull myself up.  I was finally able to get my right arm up to my side table and managed to pull myself up into a sitting position. I relied on the fact that my sister would soon be there in order to calm down. Within a few seconds I could here her and her friend racing down the stairs,

"Chris! Christophe! I'm here!" 

Hearing her voice was all I needed to slow down my heart rate as I closed my eyes in relief. One leg was still twisted and so I can only imagine their thoughts as they entered the room. Without hesitation they grabbed me under my arms and helped me up slowly. I then carefully sat down on my bed. 

"Chris are you ok? Did you hurt anything? How did you fall? That must have been so scary right?!" my sister asked one after the other.

"I'm ok now I promise, you guys have a flight to catch. I'm good now. Go!" I said looking my sister in the eyes to let her know I was serious. 

     I never want my sister to worry. It wasn't until she reluctantly left however that I began to register that I had just hit my head pretty hard. My knee was also throbbing after twisting it in the process. I dropped my head and proceeded to sob. I wasn't crying because of the pain. I was just so grateful my sister and her friend were able to come to my rescue while simultaneously grieving the current state of what my life has come to. What would I have done without them? What if my phone was dead? How long would it have been before someone found me? Frustration overcame me as I truly knew that there wasn't much I could do to change my circumstances. As I cried my attention was suddenly drawn to the dogtag hanging from my neck swaying back and forth. It was given to me by four of my closest friends in the world, and I never take it off. It reads, 

"Strength isn't always about muscles, what's inside eventually gets you through it" - BCEK 

     A quote taken from my upcoming book. My very own words were staring me in the face, reminding me that this was NOT the time to give in. This was NOT the time to give up. Ofcourse the road ahead isn't going to be easy, however this is my journey. This is God's plan for me. I began to remember my struggle. How long its been already, and all the things I'd overcome. Was I really about to let one fall impact me? My sobs turned to laughs as I realized the insignificance of it all. I was ok. I am going to be ok. Life is a constant fight. Just when things seem perfect, your entire world can change. Count your blessings, spread kindness and love, enjoy your loved ones. There are so many things I hate about my situation, and even after writing this blog I'm sure my perseverance will continue to be challenged. But for everyone facing a situation that seems hopeless, remember this, life will knock you straight to the ground. Sometimes you'll be too weak to getup. You'll panic! You'll think you're all alone. And just when all seems hopeless, angels may just come to your rescue and help you get back up!

T.N.S. - You were always one of my angels, only now you are in the sky. Thank you for always helping me get back up. <3

1 comment:

  1. Chris,
    I read this and I think what an amazing man! You know I've read your book also - I was glued to it! But this is who you are, an amazing man with very strong faith and a resilient soul. With God all things are possible. Seems really silly for me to write that when you're living proof - you already know this. You are one of His messengers of love, peace and resilience through adversity.

    A couple of years ago a friend sent me a book for my birthday - Jesus Calling is the name of the book. The first time I read through several passages I cried and then I stopped, I realized that the woman that sent me the book had given me an awesome present. I have been reading the book for probably 3 years now - one passage per day and I still feel the way I did when I read my first passage - I feel as if God is talking to me directly - that the book was written for me specifically but in reality it was simply a reminder that God is with us ALWAYS. He gives you the strength and resilience. You have an amazing family too so know this - you will NEVER be alone! Never!! Just reach out your right hand and God will lift you up beyond everything!
    Lourdes and I send you lots of hugs and lots of love!!